Twenty

Big tl;dr: Wow I’ve been “DarkOverord” for 20 years, this will not stop. This post is giant under the read-more, and mostly just me rambling about myself, my art, and various things about my life online/IRL in the furry fandom. There’s also a lot of images, this may take a while to fully load.

I’ll start this by leaving this here

An older screenshot of DarkOverord's deviantART page, showing they registered on the 27th of November 2004

It’s an image I keep around to post yearly because it’s neat, clearly shows when I joined deviantART and so on. It’s the screenshot that says “This is when I, DarkOverord, made a typo when registering to deviantART and instead of being ‘DarkOverlord’ as my edgy teenage self wanted, instead I became DarkOverord, and I just stuck with it”

But, I think maybe it’s worth digging out a much older screenshot that is more “consistent” for the time.

A full screen screenshot of a Windows XP era Firefox. The webpage loaded is DarkOverord's page on deviantART, though using a custom script to skin it in dark colours. There's multiple key bits of information such as being "an Anthro Artist" and "deviant since Nov 27, 2004, 02:59PM" The XP task bar has multiple icons in quick launch such as Internet Explorer and Firefox, and a couple other windows are Windows Media Player, MSN Messenger, Jasc Paint Shop Pro and Firefox Internet users have been reskinning sites forever! Also look at all that Modern Ancient Computer Things everywhere

Because that first screenshot doesn’t just show what it was like for a 2005 era DarkOverord using a family computer (though I was the one who used it 90% of the time), it gives the exact time I hit “submit” on the registration form and the database registering me as a user. 2:59PM, BST (so 01:59PM UTC+0, there’s a reason I decided to publish this at that specific time). I wouldn’t normally bust that out because GOD look how tiny the screen is, the UI I went with and so on, instead of the smaller thing I post yearly instead.

Twenty years is a long time for an internet handle, most people drift off from their “cringe” teenage names, or the name becomes a brand, so on and so on. There’s a smaller number of names that have remained unchanged over the years. I’m not really a reflective type but, twenty years of an identity would do that so this is going to get kind of long winded and rambly, I’ve actually been poking at it multiple times over the past few months.

Continue reading “Twenty”

Agender Pride Flag

Gender, or a lack of it

So the 11th of October was apparently “Coming out day” and a few friends went “hey, they” basically and I remembered to update my profile on Twitter so it’s a good day to. But I did technically come out about my gender at the start of pride month.

Agender Pride Flag
it’s this (agender)

But the thing about that is well. Thoughts change but also a lot of self doubt, especially as I started feeling that I was faking it etc.

I’m pretty masculine, I won’t lie. Quite “man” like and I never really thought to, do anything about it, but I never felt attached to it  as “my identity”. I never “felt” transgender and neither did “woman” or “non-binary” ring out to me. Eventually I got talking to someone who basically phrased it as “male by default” and I was like “holy shit yes?”

So with some reinforcement behind me I kind of stumbled randomly on to agender, it felt right, it makes my brain happy.

“But… what if I was faking it for brain chemicals???” I kept thinking, especially as when I came out in June I effectively went “∅ he/they” is good :)”, the easiest “out” for all of this, even though I really never felt like that was correct but it’s easy for a masculine person and go like that. Constantly doubting that the genuine euphoria I felt back in February when I stumbled my way in to understanding.

So in safe places I did add in “it” to “∅ he/they”, eventually “∅ he/they/it” I swapped it round “∅ it/they/he”, and privately or in new places I put what made me happy…

Seeing my friends explore their identity over the past few months, and especially today made me realise “no wait I can do this”. I’ve been pushing off “he” for a while, so much so that I dropped it entirely in places I was “safe”. So I finally did it, I told everyone “it/they” on twitter and holy hell that felt good. I’d change it entirely but on Twitter I figure for the best I might have to leave “they” but almost everywhere else? No.

I’m DarkOverord, I’m an agender furry and my pronouns are it/its. They is acceptable, he is okay, but I’m an it, and that makes me happy.

Also know that I’m still getting used to that and if you call me “it” I will just melt in to a puddle for you.

I rambled here but I needed to make it in to words lol

May Update

So what’s been going on? Why is the site so quiet? Why are you asking rhetorical questions, DO? Well hopefully we’ll answer them in this post.

So I’ve been pretty quiet over the past few months as there’s been a lot of things going on in my life honestly! In art news, I’ve been chugging along with Art-a-Day as well as updating my online presence! You’ll now find new links to various places on my links page such as dusting off my deviantART and setting up dedicated art social accounts.

On top of that it’s con time for me, heading off to Confuzzled! If you’re going to be about, keep an eye out for me or my business cards! I’ll be easily spotted as the tall guy with this around his next, or handing out these cards.

Second update, the plants are doing well and I’m trying to do more. Hopefully they’ll grow well while I’m away over Confuzzled weekend!

Final update is a big one: I recently made the choice to quit my job. This was a big choice, as obviously not everyone can just crash out of standard employment and I have a rare opportunity to at least sit back and refocus where and what I want to do. Be it here and focus on art full time, or finding a new job elsewhere. What I will say though, is if your job is making you feel suicidal then GET OUT. No matter what the situation you’re in, discuss it with your partners, parents, whatever and get yourself out. Either by a new job or taking a break for some time. No job is worth it even if you enjoyed it if it is killing you.

We’ll see how things go but after Confuzzled, expect me to clear out my remaining queue that was delayed by being in full time employment and opening slots. I’ll post about them everywhere as usual so keep an eye out!

Plants!

So I’ve been busy for the past month or so with work and art and the like, but also plants! I’ve been gradually gathering various plants because apparently that’s something I do now too. Most of them are succulents, which are rad, in fact here they are from when I pulled them back in to the main room when it was very snow-y at late February.

So I figured I’d give propagating some a try! The red and green pals on the bottom shelf were pretty leafy so I thought I’d have a go at propagating them. I was a little worried about harming them as the way to do it is by pulling their leaves off! Though the other two ways actually involve taking enough leaves off to cut the stem, plant the stem after it dries out and planting that, while leaving the stump to regrow.

Continue reading “Plants!”

Today went really well!

2024 DarkOverord here, I’m adding this on my site to preserve this post as it is part of the “history of DO”, and Tumblr being, Tumblr, who knows how long it’d be there. This site too may cease to be one day too, but I take backups of it.


I was worried due to being short on my Prescription for my stomach not eating itself that I would end up hating the world.

Well it does now but shh.

Anyway. For those who may or may not know, I run, or rather ran, the “mini” furmeets in Manchester. Today was my last in this regard. While I’ll still attend them as it’s a great chance to see some of my busier friends, I decided that enough was enough :B

To quote myself…

To all, I have chosen to step down from the position of Manchester Minimeet Organiser, and as such plan on removing myself entirely from the organisational and pastoral duties of being a staff member of MancFurs. This is a decision that has taken a while, and has been on my mind for the past six months or so.

There are certain things that I’m glad have stayed as they are, the referral that the Minimeet is still a Minimeet, because I feel there should be no separation between the Main Meet and Minimeet. Such referring to one meet as the “Northern Furs Manchester Meet” and then the Minimeets as “Manchester Furs Meet”, which essentially removes its own roots. The regularity in timing, removing any confusion on the meet dates, and trying to make the meet as clear as possible.

However over the past six months, my heart hasn’t been into it. I’m regretful that this is the case, but two years and two months is quite a run, but I feel that my time is at a close. I do not have the enthusiasm I did back on June the 12th, 2010. I don’t have the same drive and as numbers have increased dramatically over the past two years, perhaps even lack the proper skills to manage the event.

Admittedly, this has since become easier since introducing Lone, Stuart and Elly. However if I’m not in it myself, how can I, or anyone, expect a team to work properly if the guy at the top isn’t giving it his all? None of this has unfortunately reinvigorated that spirit that one needs to run such an event.

However there is more to this than “I’m not into the meets” anymore. In less than two months I should be entering my final year of university, and as such I have no wish for my studies to be distracted by the organisational problems that the Minimeet brings forth.

August will be my final Minimeet on this side of things, and I will approach the minimeet as I’ve always tried to, but medical reasons sadly mean I likely will be underperforming myself.

I do not regret running the meets in these two years however, the time and effort I put into them have paid off! But sadly like all good things, my time has come to an end.

It’s like I said last night. This was a really big decision for me. After so long the fact that I put so much time and effort in meant I was really attached to the meets. They’re basically my estranged baby, and for the past few months I honestly was wrestling with myself on whether or not I should quit the job.

Because honestly there’s a lot more than people think that comes with the title of “Meet Organiser” than just “Here’s a bar/pub, here’s when it happens, go”.

Finer details, making sure people are in at least a comfortable environment, and of course, having to deal with petty crap. As organiser I’ve had to deal with people who in the end have crossed boundaries, been warned for such, banned people. And sometimes these are hard decisions. Sometimes it’s just drama that spills over (Death Threats comes to mind), sometimes it’s a legitimate incident. But in the end that decision comes down to the organiser (And the Main Meet organiser too who I often went to with this just to confer on). It seems silly but when you’re trying to organise a meet for people to enjoy themselves, it’s disheartening and somewhat sad that I need to sometimes step in tell people “no”.

Of course then there’s the other territory that comes with “Manchester Meet Organiser”.

Over the past two years the amount of uninformed absolute crap people come out with in relation to what goes on at meets is horrible. “Oh fucking kids on leashes” is my favourite. Banned since 2009 when it was a legitimate issue that needed to be fucking pointed out as “use your noggin’”. That was before I became organiser. But even now in 2012, people are still convinced that this is a normal thing at Manchester Furmeets, even though we as staff (Be it me, my teammates or the Main Meet staff) make an active to say “No, stop that” if it does happen (Which thankfully isn’t often).

Or how about how I should be omnipresent. And I should be telling people off for incidents that I wasn’t there for or even nearby. But oh. It’s my fault for not being there and keeping an eye on it. Oh and that complaint of mine spawns from people complaining who weren’t even at that meet.

Part of the issues I actually had while organiser were caused by people who weren’t even fucking going. But it put a bad “impression” on them. etc.

Contrary to all this though. I did enjoy my time as organiser. Seeing people go “Oh I enjoyed this meet” or “Thanks Dark for organising this meet, I had a good time” is really great. Not for the ego boost (Much appreciated though). But because it’s good to see people enjoy their time at the meet, which is the entire reason it’s run. It’s not run because I want to be popular, it’s run because wethe organisers like seeing us all get together and have a ball =3

I hope it carried on this way and that I’m glad that my run has gone smoothly.